Log in

No account? Create an account
25 October 2009 @ 02:31 pm
It's that time again  
I've been keeping quiet on LJ the last few weeks now that I've entered the hermit stage of writing my seasonal_spuffyfic. I bitched and whined pretty frequently last year about IWRY, so I've tried to keep that minimal on this go round. Needless to say, I think I'll be able to get it done, but as is my usual way, I'll be writing up until the 11th hour. I have about 5500 words so far and I'm guessing I'll need another 5500 or so. The thought exhausts me to no end.

This is easily my most ambitious idea to date, the longest fic I've written, and has gone through more changes than a handful of stories combined. I am not cut out to write plotty fics. I just hope that all this hard work will show and that the intent will match up with the execution. It all seems so incredibly hard. I haven't been writing regularly for nearly a year and yanking this baby from my guts is taking a lot out of me. I'll be so happy when it's over on Thursday. Because then I can immediately start on my IWRY fic! *falls over dead* Never again.
Snick: Spuffy fluffsnickfic on October 25th, 2009 07:36 pm (UTC)
FWIW, I'm very much looking forward to the SS fic when you finish it. :)
ClawofCat: headdeskclawofcat on October 25th, 2009 08:12 pm (UTC)
I hope it lives up to expectation. I've been feeling very anxious about it and can just imagine myself getting metaphorically booed off the stage.
Snicksnickfic on October 25th, 2009 08:15 pm (UTC)
Oh, whatever. People don't get booed out of SS. You and your luscious long plotty fic will be welcomed with open arms. :)
Shapinglightshapinglight on October 25th, 2009 07:55 pm (UTC)
Writing is hard. :(
ClawofCat: ow my angstclawofcat on October 25th, 2009 08:09 pm (UTC)
No truer words have ever been spoken.

I'm really bummed I won't be able to contribute to your Darla ficathon. There were just too many committments I found myself with in such a short period of time. I do very much look forward to reading what people come up with though.
Shapinglightshapinglight on October 26th, 2009 04:23 pm (UTC)
Never mind. Maybe next time.
Sevensevendeadlyfun on October 25th, 2009 08:32 pm (UTC)
I've been feeling this way about my writing lately. I wanted to reinvigorate FmK with a new kinky fic and somehow I'm almost a thousands words into a comics canon Spike/Drusilla/Angel fic with no kink in sight. I have no idea why it's so serious or how it morphed. Very spooky.

ClawofCat: pondersclawofcat on October 26th, 2009 12:34 am (UTC)
Sometimes a story goes in unexpected directions. Or sometimes circumstances change or you change and you just can't or don't want to stick with the original plan. Pass tells me all the time to let the characters tell the story, and it sounds like that might have happened here. They had ideas of their own :)

Goo luck with it and the reinvigoration of FmK. I was actually scrolling through old posts the other day looking for buffyversetop5 fodder. There were lots of good times with that comm. Hope things are good with you, too, and Italy is everything you hoped for. It's been a long time since we touched base.
Rebcake: hellorebcake on October 25th, 2009 11:29 pm (UTC)
I am not cut out to write plotty fics.

Hoo boy! I relate like whoa to that. However, I am more and more thinking that all the agony to come up with something worthwhile for these ficathons is a necessary part of it being worthwhile. Which doesn't help a whit while you are in the throes, but puts it into perspective afterward. Hopefully.

Anyway, we're all rooting for you, and absolutely feel your pain. I can't wait to see the results!
ClawofCat: Buffy love cryclawofcat on October 26th, 2009 12:30 am (UTC)
I am more and more thinking that all the agony to come up with something worthwhile for these ficathons is a necessary part of it being worthwhile.
I think you might be right. Last year's IWRY fic was also incredibly hard for me to write and it wound up being one of my favorite stories. Gus has been a wonderful support these last few weeks and he reminded me of something that I'd tried not to think about since I graduated. "Don't you see? When you do this to yourself to get the writing you want. You'll moan and you'll cry, you'll make yourself sick and sleep deprived. But I think that's sometimes what you have to do to write what you write. You become weak and tired because your characters are weak and tired. When you don't think there's anything left, you make it happen because that's how they struggle."

Now, that's pretty fucked up, and I think a more accurate explanation is I'm a terrible procrastinator, but I think Gus may be right in certain cases. Some (not all) of my best writing is created when I'm in an utterly worthless state. It'd be really nice though if it didn't take so much emotional energy!