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02 October 2008 @ 08:05 pm
Wool Over My Eyes ~ (1/1)  

Here's the next fic in my series of prompt-inspired shorts. I decided to be a bit experimental on the POV in this one, which accounts for my use of the second person. I've seen girlpire do it before (with great skill, I might add) and wanted to try it myself. You can let me know if you thought it worked well. Jury's still out on my end.

Title: Wool Over My Eyes
Author: ClawofCat
Timing: Post-NFA (by several years, at least)
Rating: R
Pairing: Dawn/Xander
Warnings: Light BDSM, including bondage, forced orgasm and sexual situations
Summary: Dawns discovers that pain can work both for and against you. The question is: can she channel her loss into strength?

A/N: Written for snowpuppies on the prompts "fabric art" and "a dark place where you have to be quiet." Snowy recently posted a lovely ficlet called The Scarf, which served as inspiration for this piece. Hope you like it, darling.

 

******

 

You and Xander are never in the same place twice when you do this. That’s key. There’s always a big question mark about who might know or has their suspicions. Frankly, it’s no ones business. You’re an adult and you have your reasons for doing what you do, just like anyone else. Buffy had her reasons for her own clandestine meetings, too. You get that now. Taking a deep breath, you close your eyes and send the past to a far corner of your mind. This doesn’t work if you’re not in the moment.

 

You kneel, crouched on the floor of the coatroom, burrowed under furs and trenches, shawls and hats that fell off the top rack. You feel the designer coats bear down on your shoulders and brush your hair; the static cling forces a few strands to stand on end. You get shocked more than once when you shift and settle.

 

Like massive fir trees, the looming blockade of outerwear crowds you into this tiny space. But you’ll take it over the grand ballroom fundraiser any day, which is well underway at the end of the hall. The Council’s assets and its stodgy donors and benefactors don’t interest you.

 

You’d been caught in conversation with one lady who reminded you of Ms. Kroeber. She was all curves and plump softness. This woman had never had to fight a demon in her life. She didn’t know what it was like to lose colleagues or family to the dark things that the Council tried to protect people like her from. Dislike didn’t even begin to describe how you felt about this portly woman with the mink throw, who wouldn’t shut up. 

 

When Xander came up by your side and laid his left hand against your lower back, you breathed a sigh of relief. His thumb pressed into the knobby bumps of your vertebrae, inched up and over the nerve endings that climb your spine. When his hand slid to your hip, you decided he had the best timing of anyone you’ve ever met. He has a real way of pulling people back from the brink. You try not to think about Willow.

 

He pushes you up so that you’re facing the wall, knees jammed against the cool plaster. Your cocktail dress is somewhere over your hips, bunched in the dip of your waist. Earlier, you warned him not to tear it or it’s his hide. At least there’s no chance of having to get canapé out of it like that time in the dumbwaiter.

 

“It’s hot in here,” he says behind you. You nod in agreement when he wipes his hand under your hairline against your sweaty neck. It’s not like you’re going for comfort or anything, though.

 

“This too tight?” He tugs on the neck tie that he’s wrapped around your wrists. It was hard getting over that part – being restrained. Bad things have happened to you when you’ve been bound. He knows you tense up when you think about the bad things. That’s why his hands are rubbing your inner arm, and then brush your belly and neck. That’s where you’ve been hurt before. You still have the scars.

 

“If you can’t do this, just let – ”

 

“I’m fine.” You turn to look over your shoulder where you think he must be. Everything is a dark, indistinct shadow through the hand-knit scarf he’s tied over your eyes. But it doesn’t make you feel weak or scared. It makes you feel like a superhero. A half-naked superhero crouched on the floor of a coatroom, but a superhero nonetheless.

 

“Okay,” he whispers, against your neck.

 

Okay. You steal yourself.

 

You twist suddenly, unprepared, when his hands come down between your thighs and he presses the Butterfly against you. This is new. He hasn’t done this before. It’s like being connected to a live wire and there’s nothing you can do to suppress the moans or the shaking. You squirm away, but he holds you down and presses it more firmly against you and into you, rotating it in such a way that you think you might scream and bring the coat check guy barreling in.     

 

His hand is over your mouth when the scream decides to break free, and he shoves it back down your throat, dampening the sound with his palm. When you begin to pant like a marathon runner, Xander forces his fingers between your lips. Your pitch jumps and then his hand is over your nose, too.

 

“Dawnie, shut up,” he whispers fiercely, still working his hand against you. You try to hold your breath to the count of ten and, in that window of silence, you hear it, too. Someone’s moving around outside the door chatting with another someone.

 

 “I – I can’t,” you stutter and gasp for air, shaking your head.

 

“Try,” he asks, softly now, despite the little warning shake he gives you without lessening the intensity of the Butterfly. As it vibrates against you, you focus on the pinpricks of light that seep through the itchy wool of the scarf around your eyes. You can’t be quiet when you’re coming like this – again and again that it’s almost too much and hurts. Except that it doesn’t hurt. So, you give in and continue to tremble and squirm along with the current of sensation as its winds its way up and through you and into your extremities. You wonder if you’ll vibrate into another dimension. That’s what it feels like, this unending pleasure overload that doesn’t even feel like pleasure, just more.  More, more, more. More than anyone could ever want. It’s overwhelming.

 

Xander’s hand, clamped between your thighs, is wet from you and the stifling heat that only intensifies the longer you huddle between all these winter coats. His silk tie slides against your wrists and when he begins to rock you forward, you know this is it. Your head hits the wall and a cry erupts, and then it doesn’t when your mouth is filled with something thick and cottony and dry. The yarn soaks up your saliva like a sponge, but it misses out on all the moisture down below that’s turning your pussy into a bog. Tears wet the fabric around your eyes. He must see them because he pauses to stroke your hair. This is what he does. He pushes you there each and every time, so that each and every time he can bring you back safely.

 

Anya always seemed like the toppy type to you, but now you wonder if you’d been wrong all those years ago. Whoever Xander’s been playing with since Sunnydale fell, they’ve taught him how to go hard and fast. You don’t mind hard and fast, though. Hard and fast is all you get when you have a life like yours.

 

You try not to think of Priscilla, who lived hard and fast like any good Slayer. They buried her on Tuesday and it was all you could do not to break down when you saw how distraught Willow was, how she never can seem to keep her girls no matter how hard she tries. Xander stood beside both of you during that rainy morning at the grave, his strong arms holding you and Willow close on either side of him. It’s why you’re here together now. You never have to face the grief alone anymore. No more. No more. Not ever. You’ve had your fill.

 

Behind you, you hear the sound of him undoing his pants and the scratching clink of the metal hangers as the coats get shifted this way and that. All of a sudden, his hand and the Butterfly are gone, and you sink limply against the wall with relief. He rubs your neck, your scalp. He gathers you up close, his right hand splayed across your chest, so you don’t fall forward. He is your eyes and your hands. You trust him and know that he’ll have a care with that responsibility. He always gives you the power back at the end of the night without ever taking it away in the first place.  

 

Xander presses you forward and all at once he’s inside, hard and soft. You’re not really sure how he manages that. He kisses your shoulder over the straps of your cocktail dress. The gloves in your mouth are now a saturated mess of fabric. You feel bad for the kid who’s gonna have slobber all over their mittens.

 

Through the wall, there’s the faint sound of the auctioneer announcing bids, but it’s drowned out by the squelching and huffing and panting that rises up like smog and settles over your heads. Your cheek goes from one hard surface (the wall) to the next as he pushes you to the floor and pounds hard, breathing through his teeth. You can feel your own knot of desire wrenching and twisting alongside his.

 

When he grasps your wrists and pulls back, his hips shudder, flush against your ass, and you relax into your own climax, sighing quietly. It feels good and easy, not like the forced, hard ones from before. That’s Xander for you. He took those from you like a thief in the night, but he gave you this one to hold on to for the rest of the evening. You won’t have to force any more smiles. They’ll come naturally now.

 

He reels you up as he softens inside you and the blindfold immediately falls away. So does the gag. There’s still lint in your mouth, though. He undoes the tie next and you sink against each other, the big giant coats surrounding you like bodyguards. You rub your wrists; he smoothes down your hair. Your shoulders are cradled against his chest. The starch in his shirt and his open tux are stiff and crunchy.

 

“Are you still thinking about it?” he asks. You think that he must be even though your own thoughts have quieted down. They’re not clamoring for attention anymore. That corner of your mind where you put the past holds its hand out to gather in Priscilla and that look on Willow’s face that you never want to dream about ever again. You can put these memories away now because this is how it is for you. This is the life you lead. This is how you cope. 

 

“No. But you are.” Xander just smiles and adjusts his eye patch. It’s like him to say nothing, so you turn and press your lips against his because if he doesn’t want to talk about it that’s okay, too. He will eventually and you’ll be there to listen.

 

“Lets head back in. I’ll bet you five dollars that Andrew’s asked at least four people if they’ve seen us.” Xander’s probably right, but you sink against him heavily, a weary sigh drifting from your mouth.

 

“Yeah,” you whisper. You can’t escape forever. The very nature of escape is only temporary. You have to go back sometime, return to your life and its sorrows. But, you won’t return empty-handed. You’ll return hand in hand, tucking that warm feeling of respite away into the chambers of your heart, the part of you where Xander and Buffy and mom live.

 

Straightening clothes and hair pins, ties and jackets, you pause to bend over and pick up the scarf that was tied around your eyes. Every time you do this with Xander, the place is different, but the scarf is always the same. It’s the one that Tara knit for your sixteenth birthday. She said it bound you two together even when she was far away. Looking down at it, you still think of it that way – it’s your ever present reminder of her love covering your eyes. Wrapped snuggly around you, Tara always helps you stay in the moment with Xander. She never fails to keep the monsters at bay.  

 

Bad things used to happen to you when you were restrained, you know. But, no more. No more, no more, no more.   


 

 
 
 
missus_grace: shagmissus_grace on October 3rd, 2008 12:37 am (UTC)
Yowza! Great kinky sex between Dawn and Xander! And the feely, thinky parts were poingnant as well.

Well done!
ClawofCat: dawn suffersclawofcat on October 3rd, 2008 03:03 am (UTC)
Thanks :) We see so much BDSM in this fandom that's extreme, disempowering and generally unpleasant. I wanted to write a story that explored how there can be times when you forge strength through pain and you're able to reclaim the disempowerment you feel in life. Dawn confronts her fears and her pain here with the help of Xander. It's a different sort of strength that I thought was important to explore.

Glad you liked it. More prompty fics to come soon.
Katie-katkatiekat641 on October 3rd, 2008 02:21 am (UTC)
Beautiful. Kinky and poignant.
ClawofCat: coc dawnclawofcat on October 3rd, 2008 03:07 am (UTC)
Thank you. I'm glad you liked it. There can be a softness to BDSM when you eliminate the power dynamics of dominance and submission. Here, Dawn is able to explore in a safe space (with someone she trusts) things that are difficult for her to process and cope with.

Did you see that I posted a fic in response to your prompt? I never got a comment from you.
The Anti-OTPsnowpuppies on October 3rd, 2008 02:49 am (UTC)
Nice!

Very.

I love the setting, the soft, warm darkness of the cloak closet, almost uterine in the way it isolates Dawn and Xander from the world.

And I love how you used the scarf, connected it to Tara, and the restraints - I do love restraints - and...yeah, you hit a lot of my kinks, here.

Also, the second person works well, I think. Makes things much more personal, IMHO.

Thanks *so* much - this was truly wonderful to read.
ClawofCat: Seriously?clawofcat on October 3rd, 2008 03:24 am (UTC)
I love the setting, the soft, warm darkness of the cloak closet, almost uterine in the way it isolates Dawn and Xander from the world.
Thanks! I really like putting characters in unusual places to carry out their sex acts. It gives me the opportunity to use the space to tell the story. The coat room almost becomes a third character. I love how you describe it as uterine. That's so cool!

And I love how you used the scarf, connected it to Tara
I wanted there to be some element of constancy to Dawn's encounters with Xander. The scarf works nicely because it makes her feel safe and loved. It becomes especially poignant because the particular tragedy that's bothering Dawn - the death of Willow's g/f, Priscilla the Slayer - is the same fate that took Tara away, too. It's one big cyclical thingy.

I do love restraints - and...yeah, you hit a lot of my kinks, here.
Awesome! Bonus points.

I'm very glad you liked it. I really enjoyed writing this and putting the pieces together that explain what Dawn's been going through and why this helps. We see so much BDSM in this fandom that's extreme, disempowering and generally unpleasant. I wanted to write a story that explored how there can be times when you forge strength through pain and you're able to reclaim the disempowerment you feel in life.

I get the feeling that not many people on my flist will read it because of the pairing, though. Bah.

Have a good evening, Snowy. It's nearly bedtime for us North Easterners!
(no subject) - snowpuppies on October 3rd, 2008 03:40 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - clawofcat on October 3rd, 2008 03:59 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - snowpuppies on October 3rd, 2008 04:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
louise39: y Dawnlouise39 on October 3rd, 2008 12:15 pm (UTC)
I like Dawn. She was the whiney vulnerable teen, the unknowable key and the angry young adult and she is still working through her strange life. It is fitting that Xander should be her companion.
[I recall that moment in S.7 when they had that tender 'special' talk.]

I like the use of Tara's soft, knitted scarf to help Dawn deal with her brittle, surreal reality. Priscilla's violent death was just another jolt.

I'm also glad this story places an emphasis on the safety that Dawn feels with Xander.
ClawofCat: dawn jailbaitclawofcat on October 3rd, 2008 01:24 pm (UTC)
I like Dawn a whole lot. She's definately one of my top 3 favorite female characters to write. So many bad things have happened to her, but she copes and processses very differently than Buffy. There's a lot less anger in Dawn and she reaches out to people to help her. In many ways, I find her to be more human, if not better adjusted, compared to Buffy and Faith.

It is fitting that Xander should be her companion.
Honestly, it's not a pairing I've ever really thought about before, but I can definately see it working. That tender moment in S7 is a good canon example that lays the groundwork for their dynamic here. Xander's a bit darker and edgier here, but he still offers her that support and clearly cares for her like we knew he did years before.

I like the use of Tara's soft, knitted scarf to help Dawn deal with her brittle, surreal reality. Priscilla's violent death was just another jolt.
Thanks. The scarf was always part of the original concept, but as I went along I decided it should be Tara's. Priscilla and Willow were also not originally part of my idea, but I thought there had to be some motivation for this encounter. The line: "she tries not to think about Willow" was always there and it was meant to reference Xander saving her at the end of S6, but then I thought it'd be more interesting if I gave it some additional significance.

I'm also glad this story places an emphasis on the safety that Dawn feels with Xander.
In an unsafe world, you have to cling to the people and things that make it bearable. I'm glad that Xander is there for her in this 'verse. She needs it!

Thanks for reading and the thoughtful comments.
ellan_vannin on October 3rd, 2008 12:26 pm (UTC)
Wow. I don't have a problem sending Xander to the "toppy" place in my head, but I rarely read fic that makes it seem credible. I think you've accomplished that exceptionally well here with the combination of the unique POV getting us inside Dawn's head and the spare dialog that sounds true to Xander's character.

Independent of the (very fine) characterization, however, I love (love, LOVE) how you took the BDSM to a trust place rather than a power struggle place. (A fact which you've already explained in these comments, but as it's a personal fave of mine, had to comment on it again!)
ClawofCat: darkdawnclawofcat on October 3rd, 2008 01:40 pm (UTC)
I don't have a problem sending Xander to the "toppy" place in my head, but I rarely read fic that makes it seem credible.
Wow, thanks. I hardly ever read fics with Xander in them at all, but it's great to hear that my Xander seemed credible. He's pretty quiet throughout most of this, since we're so entrenched in Dawn's POV. I guess I did my job if you were still able to get a strong sense of his characterization despite the limitations of the POV. Yay!

I love (love, LOVE) how you took the BDSM to a trust place rather than a power struggle place.
Oh, gosh. Don't even get me started on how people twist this stuff around so that it just becomes a self-indulgent exercise in "ZOMG, dirtybadwrong!" On a personal note, that has never been my experience. No doubt, people do engage in extreme play like some of the stuff shown in fics, but it often steps outside the realm of reality for me. I've wanted to write something like this for a long time, and probably will explore it again in the future, just to make a point and say "Hey, guys. Put the titilation aside for a sec. Why do people really feel drawn to this?" Not to mention, we get the bottom's POV, not the power hungry, slathering top. I gotta strive to put something new on the table.

See? Rant. It's just a bit of a sour point with me. But! All that to say, I'm thrilled you liked it. Now I have to figure out which prompt gets my attention next!
mendenbar01mendenbar01 on October 3rd, 2008 03:02 pm (UTC)
Marvelous. Not one I would have thought of but oooh so tasty.
ClawofCat: hugsclawofcat on October 3rd, 2008 04:51 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Glad you liked it. Dawn/Xander doesn't usually register on my radar either, but I think they have the potential to make a lot of sense together. Also, I just like rare pairings :) It's fun trying to make it work.
(no subject) - mendenbar01 on October 3rd, 2008 07:15 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - clawofcat on October 3rd, 2008 07:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mendenbar01 on October 6th, 2008 12:56 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on October 4th, 2008 12:39 am (UTC)
This was terrific - urgent and intense and poignant all rolled into one very tasty package. Xander's always the support to everyone else, and this is simply an extension of that role - hot and kinky support, but support never the less.

Really, really terrific.
sparrow2000sparrow2000 on October 4th, 2008 12:42 am (UTC)
Sorry, that previous comment was me, LJ logged me out when I wasn't looking. This will definitely be on my fics of the year list.
ClawofCat: faithxanderclawofcat on October 4th, 2008 02:09 am (UTC)
I'm so glad you liked it, especially because you're a Xander fan. Don't get many of you girls at my journal :)

My thoughts on Xander are somewhat limited since I don't write him often, but throughout canon he consistantly proved that he cared about the women in his life and I don't see him giving that up. In the 'verse of this fic, he's exactly who Dawn needs.

This will definitely be on my fics of the year list.
Wow! Thank you so much. I'm honored.

If you're interested, I've written one other Xander fic called "Learning Curve." You can find it over on my sidebar. It's a scene stealer from "The Zeppo" where we get to see what sort of evening he really got with Faith.

Edited at 2008-10-04 02:09 am (UTC)
Sotiassddgr on October 4th, 2008 03:16 pm (UTC)
I think I've told you before that for me generally Xander + Sex = Icky, however, this is the second Xander/someone ficlet of yours that I've read and guess what? I loved this one too, which reconfirms that I love your writing and will read no matter what you choose to write.Even a grocery list. Seriously.

Even though the sex was beyond hot, it wasn't the sex that appealed to me the most, but the sentiment and the brilliant POV you used.

Once again: you absolutely, positively rock!!!
*hugs*
ClawofCat: dawn sultryclawofcat on October 4th, 2008 05:45 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much for the comment, Sotia. Whenever I write pairing fics, I try not to bring biases into how I may or may not feel about the characters. I always try to capture the dynamic I see them having as faithfully as I can. It was a show with a tightly knit group of people who had complex, loving, beautiful, difficult and ugly relationships. If my writing can stand on it's own no matter who I'm writing together, than I think I've accomplished my goal.

Even though the sex was beyond hot, it wasn't the sex that appealed to me the most, but the sentiment and the brilliant POV you used.
Hee. That's how I roll, yo. And that's exactly what I want people to take away from my work. My fics are character studies first and foremost. The sex just helps me tell the story. Also, who doesn't like reading or writing hot sex?

This particular fic and the sentiments expressed in it come from a personal place. I'm glad I was able to transfer it effectively into words. A sigh of relief about the POV, too. It was very weird writing in 2nd. Not natural, at all. But it makes it so personal and I wanted people to be brought into Dawn's thoughts.

Thanks for reading, hon! More prompt fics to come shortly.
angelus2hot: Angel fallenangelus2hot on October 10th, 2008 07:17 pm (UTC)
Woah! HOT AND KINKY!

Excellent!

Every time I read something of yours I'm always impressed by how well you capture each of the characters and make the reader want to keep reading, regardless if it's a character they like or not.
ClawofCat: darkdawnclawofcat on October 11th, 2008 07:07 pm (UTC)
Every time I read something of yours I'm always impressed by how well you capture each of the characters and make the reader want to keep reading, regardless if it's a character they like or not.

Wow. Thank you so much. Thanks for reading! That's such a compliment. I always strive for strong characterization. Very glad that I was able to draw you in, as well. All of the BtVS characters had such layered and complex lives. It's a shame when writers just gloss over the type of people they were, faults and all. I always like to bring my readers into their lives, into their heads, so that they can get a peek of all that's brewing inside them. I really enjoyed the world I created for Dawnie here.

FYI, I noticed that you're a B/A shipper. Just thought I'd mention I'm participating in iwry_marathon this year. *bites nails* I've never written them together as a pairing, but I'll try my darnedest to make it a compelling read!
(no subject) - angelus2hot on October 12th, 2008 02:59 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - clawofcat on October 18th, 2008 08:56 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - angelus2hot on October 19th, 2008 09:34 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - clawofcat on October 20th, 2008 12:00 am (UTC) (Expand)
jasonsnene: Xander_all grown upjasonsnene on October 11th, 2008 12:07 pm (UTC)
This was very nice. I think the POV worked in this case and the experiment should be considered a success. :D I know it's hard to judge yourself sometimes. The only part I struggled with was the very beginning. It was hard to tell in this POV just who was narrating. Was it Dawn? Xander? The question was answered not too far in, but for a moment, I was confuzzled. The rest was very compelling too. I like the way you portrayed Xander here especially. There is a quiet strength to him that worked really well in this scenario. It was very powerful and empowering at the same time. Great work. :D
ClawofCat: Xander thinkingclawofcat on October 11th, 2008 07:19 pm (UTC)
I think the POV worked in this case and the experiment should be considered a success.
Great! Thanks for your input. I always feel a little shaky when I start writing in a different style. Content is one thing. You can usually adapt it to make it work for you, but when the style gets retooled, sometimes things can go wonky.

It was hard to tell in this POV just who was narrating.
Mm, yeah. I see what you mean. It is pretty ambiguous before I start introducing the pronouns. If I try 2nd in the future, I'll be mindful of that. I think I took the POV issue for granted because I usually write from the woman's POV, and dumbly assumed of course everyone would know that! Silly me :)

I like the way you portrayed Xander here especially. There is a quiet strength to him that worked really well in this scenario.
That's great to hear, since I know you write Xander pretty often. This is only my second time writing him, so I'm still finding my feet, so to speak. He's not a character I gave a lot of thought to on the show or in fic, but in post-NFA scenarios I always prefer my Xander a little darker, more mature. In S7 especially, I think he stepped it up, so that was my jumping off point for this fic. He has to be the rock to Dawn for their relationship to work here.

Powerful and empowering is certainly what I was going for, as well. Thanks for reading and the great feedback!
InMyDreamsTara: Kinky (Please ask first)lesbianbutch04 on October 13th, 2008 02:21 am (UTC)
As always great fic, i loved the Dawn/Xander pairing. i also love the fact he was in charge, most fic of Xander i read he's always the sub my fics included LOL.
ClawofCat: dawn jailbaitclawofcat on October 13th, 2008 06:26 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you enjoyed it. They were a great pairing to write together. I found more chemistry between them than I initially expected.

most fic of Xander i read he's always the sub
I don't read much Xander fic, but I do know that's common. I usually like writing from the POV of women in sex scenes, so it was more a matter of wanting a bottom Dawn, than a top Xander. Regardless, I'm totally for letting all the characters keep their dignity! Just because you're a bottom, doesn't mean you have to be a sub, as well :)
shawty got flava like a peach lifesaver: btvs: dawn squeeonly_passenger on November 3rd, 2008 11:33 pm (UTC)
finally i have gotten here.

this is a rich piece of work. i love the second person! and, of course, i love the canon tie-ins from the gift. you're a canon tie-in master. i also liked the detail of pricilla and willow--something the story didn't need for bones, but which gave it flesh. you worked it in wonderfully.

and you're right--the grit. anyone who uses the word "slobber" in a porn and gets away with it is a hero of mine.

fabulous. i'm so glad i read.

xoxo
ClawofCat: Dawn outsiderclawofcat on November 4th, 2008 04:53 am (UTC)
Yay! Commenty goodness.

I like the 2nd person here, too. I'll definately use it again in the future. It's a little awkward and unnatural to write, but it brings a real intimacy to the POV that can be really effective.

Re: The Gift tie-in. I'm sort of obsessed with injury. I love noting it in my fics. Someone's got a canon injury, scar, whatever, I'm bringing it up. I guess it's those tangible things, marks on the body that give a permanence to experience. You can't escape them because they've became a part of you, even if they're painful.

Willow/Priscilla was a late addition to the fic. I wanted motivation for this encounter, so that's where the tie in came in. I also wanted some constancy between the death of Willow's lovers, since Tara's scarf places a silent but important role in this story.

I'm so glad you read, too. This is a personal favorite of mine. I said what I really needed to, and put a different type of BDSM experience out there.

PS - you're Fuffy is served.
they call me genius jengirlpire on November 23rd, 2008 07:32 pm (UTC)
listen here, i'm pretty upset with you for taking my two least favorite characters and making me like them. stop. it.

seriously though, this was lovely. i think the pov worked very well - although i'm sort of biased in favor of 2nd person, as you may have noticed. :) it's a great tool to use to get inside a character's head without having to use 1st person, which is the most difficult pov to pull off in fanfic, i think.

you did slip into 1st (collective) a couple of times, including twice in the first sentence. was that intentional?
ClawofCat: Seriously?clawofcat on November 24th, 2008 07:02 pm (UTC)
listen here, i'm pretty upset with you for taking my two least favorite characters and making me like them. stop. it.
Hee, your welcome? I don't really care much for Xander, either, but he's growing on me. I can't help but like him when he takes such good care of my girls :) Color me surprised to see you read this, though, with no Angel in sight. What made you want to look? I'll admit, there was squeeing involved when I saw the comment <--- is a big dork.

i think the pov worked very well
I'm very glad you think so, since I think of it as "your" POV. I've actually recently read a few fics in 2nd. It's my new stylistic kink of the month. Want 2nd... nom, nom, nom. And I would definately try it again. A little unnatural feeling, but it agreed with me.

you did slip into 1st (collective) a couple of times, including twice in the first sentence. was that intentional?
Not at all. This fic is one of my few unbeta'd ones, so that probably would have been taken care of normally. Thanks for pointing the inconsistancy out. I had to look up what 1st collective was *blushes*

So, the first line should read: "You’re never in the same place twice when you do this?" Looking at it now, I think I must have found it awkward. You're could be singular or plural there. You only get which one it is in context. Hm... Must comb the rest of the fic and make the changes.

How are you, btw? Midterms are over, finals are on the horizon. You must be in a bit of a lull right now. Things okay?
(no subject) - girlpire on November 24th, 2008 11:56 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - clawofcat on November 25th, 2008 02:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - girlpire on January 10th, 2009 10:07 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - clawofcat on January 10th, 2009 05:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - girlpire on January 10th, 2009 10:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
devylish: dawnsecret base chosentwodevylish on December 22nd, 2008 12:42 am (UTC)
loooooooooooooooooved this....

really really wonderful.

there's not a lot of dander out there, so when you get it, and it's really good like this one... you appreciate it even more!
ClawofCat: darkdawnclawofcat on December 22nd, 2008 01:28 am (UTC)
Thank you! This piece is a recent favorite of mine, so it's great to hear that it translated well for you.

there's not a lot of dander out there, so when you get it, and it's really good like this one... you appreciate it even more!
Very true. I can't think of many D/X stories I've come across. There's always a little part of me that squees when I do read a wonderfully written rare het pairing. Xander's snagged my interest lately, so I've got my eyes peeled.