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17 September 2008 @ 01:39 pm
Something is Seriously Wrong with Me  

I just signed up for the[info]iwry_marathon, which is a Buffy/Angel ficathon in November. I know. Please, don't look at me that way. I'm not sure why either. I mean, I never participate in ficathons because I get really frazzeled and weird about writing on deadline. After quitting the paper, "the deadline" has become like a trigger for PTSD for me or something. And if it would be anything, you'd think it'd be[info]seasonal_spuffy, but no. Buffy/Angel, a pairing I don't even write. Except... I've been thinking about them recently after watching S1 episodes for[info]fantas_magoria. And with thinking and viewing comes story ideas and that annoying old niggeling feeling that I get from time to time of "You've never done this, but you could. You could even do it well." When the inner CoC starts issuing evil challenges like that, I want to prove her right.

It also seems pretty appealing because I really like[info]chrisleeoctaves, who's running the ficathon, and I've actually read a couple of solid Bangel stories that I really enjoyed recently. Not to mention, it's a whole group of fandom writers I don't usually engage with and they seem to be a pretty nice and talented lot from what I've gathered at [info]fantas_magoria. So, I'll dabble my toe in the Bangel waters and see what happens. It's fresh ground for me to explore - something I get a little giddy over.

As always, I'm digging the notion of a late-season fic, perhaps at the start of S6 when Buffy abruptly announces that she's going to see Angel after her resurrection. I'm sure it's a FITB that's been done to death, but why couldn't I put my spin on it, too? I'm not really sure if I want a pairing or gen fic. It all depends when I set it, where they're at emotionally. Still a lot of pondering to do.

In short, the whole notion that I volunteered for this is sort of freaky to me, but I hope I have all of your support. Maybe you're even slightly curious how I might choose to depict Buffy and Angel together. Hm? *nudge* Maybe?

framedinlove: banner iconframedinlove on September 19th, 2008 06:41 pm (UTC)
When you say you're a Spuffy girl, does that mean that you only read Spuffy or that you just back that relationship 100%? Or both? Is that an OTP?

To be honest, I'm not all that familiar with the fandom jargon. I'm pretty sure that OTP is an acronym for the term only true pairing, but I don't know if I've ever fully understood the meaning of it. But if taken literally, saying that Spuffy is my OTP would imply that I'd find the other pairings somehow less true or not true at all, and that's not how I feel by a long shot. I don't think Spuffy's any truer or falser than any other pairing, but it's the pairing that touches me the most, resonates within me like nothing else. I back them 100% and I...I believe in them. *ponders* Gah, it's really hard to try and explain this!

As for my taste in fics, I mostly read Spuffy or gen fics. But it's not because I couldn't stomach anything else but because I find the said genres the easiest to relate to and get absorbed into. Back when I started reading fanfiction I'd been emotionally numb for quite some time. I was a human robot, a functioning object, not a living person. I didn't even feel bad anymore. And then came this thing, these people - Buffy and Spike - and their story, and something opened inside of me, something broke free, and ever since I've been learning to feel again. But it's still hard, feeling and relating, and even harder are the situations where I realize that I can't do either, and so I feel most comfortable sticking to the stuff that I can more or less count on. I guess. *feels suddenly a bit shy* God, I'm such a weirdo!