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17 September 2008 @ 01:39 pm
Something is Seriously Wrong with Me  

I just signed up for the[info]iwry_marathon, which is a Buffy/Angel ficathon in November. I know. Please, don't look at me that way. I'm not sure why either. I mean, I never participate in ficathons because I get really frazzeled and weird about writing on deadline. After quitting the paper, "the deadline" has become like a trigger for PTSD for me or something. And if it would be anything, you'd think it'd be[info]seasonal_spuffy, but no. Buffy/Angel, a pairing I don't even write. Except... I've been thinking about them recently after watching S1 episodes for[info]fantas_magoria. And with thinking and viewing comes story ideas and that annoying old niggeling feeling that I get from time to time of "You've never done this, but you could. You could even do it well." When the inner CoC starts issuing evil challenges like that, I want to prove her right.

It also seems pretty appealing because I really like[info]chrisleeoctaves, who's running the ficathon, and I've actually read a couple of solid Bangel stories that I really enjoyed recently. Not to mention, it's a whole group of fandom writers I don't usually engage with and they seem to be a pretty nice and talented lot from what I've gathered at [info]fantas_magoria. So, I'll dabble my toe in the Bangel waters and see what happens. It's fresh ground for me to explore - something I get a little giddy over.

As always, I'm digging the notion of a late-season fic, perhaps at the start of S6 when Buffy abruptly announces that she's going to see Angel after her resurrection. I'm sure it's a FITB that's been done to death, but why couldn't I put my spin on it, too? I'm not really sure if I want a pairing or gen fic. It all depends when I set it, where they're at emotionally. Still a lot of pondering to do.

In short, the whole notion that I volunteered for this is sort of freaky to me, but I hope I have all of your support. Maybe you're even slightly curious how I might choose to depict Buffy and Angel together. Hm? *nudge* Maybe?

 
 
 
framedinlove: banner iconframedinlove on September 18th, 2008 12:23 pm (UTC)
While I have to admit that I'm a Spuffy girl to the marrow, I've never had any problems with other pairings whatsoever. And besides being a Spuffy girl I also love both Spike and Buffy as individuals, and I've always considered Buffy's relationship with Angel (being it romantic or otherwise) an important part of the whole Buffy package. I've never really understood why being a shipper should mean denying and/or disregarding other ships.

As for the ship wars you mentioned, I've never witnessed one either, and couldn't imagine ever getting involved in one. Never ever. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that as a Spuffy shipper I've sometimes felt hurt and sad by the way some people seem to think that their ship's somehow morally superior to all the others and thus gives them the right to be mean and disrespectful. I mean if someone calls me a rapist lover, it's like...there's so much to get angry about within that statement that I find my knees budging in the face of it. It makes me so very tired with people. So tired and so very sad. *sigh*

Anyhow. I'm totally for you writing Bangel or any pairing you feel inspired to write. Diversity is a blessing, I say. And no matter the art form I think it's important for the artist/writer to feel free to experiment and take risks and challenge themselves (as well as the audience) and try out the most unexpected ideas - or in other words do pretty much whatever the hell they please. I find it simply admirable that you're listening to your muse despite all the doubts you might have. So, go get adventurous! I'm sure you'll shine like you always do. :)
ClawofCat: glancesclawofcat on September 18th, 2008 11:36 pm (UTC)
I also love both Spike and Buffy as individuals, and I've always considered Buffy's relationship with Angel an important part of the whole Buffy package.
Absolutely. Their relationship defines/haunts the rest of the series and Buffy's future relationships in many ways, not only because Angel did a real number on her romantically, but he also challenged the convention of the unredeemable demon, introduced the notion of souls to the Jossverse, and was the pater familias of the Auralian vampires that became so near and dear to us over the years. When I think of it, Angel was a pretty big deal as a character in terms of how his presence affected the series' development. That said, he still was a douche sometimes, lol.

I find it simply admirable that you're listening to your muse despite all the doubts you might have. So, go get adventurous!
Thank you, sweetie. The comments I've received on this post have put me much more at ease about my decision. You're wonderful. But, then, you ladies always are the supportive ones. It's the lurky, non-commenting people (why are they friended to me exactly?) that I sort of wonder about at times. Not like I should. It's your opinion I respect and you who I've come to know and care about.

When you say you're a Spuffy girl, does that mean that you only read Spuffy or that you just back that relationship 100%? Or both? Is that an OTP? I'm always so confused by what all that jargon really means.
framedinlove: banner iconframedinlove on September 19th, 2008 06:41 pm (UTC)
When you say you're a Spuffy girl, does that mean that you only read Spuffy or that you just back that relationship 100%? Or both? Is that an OTP?

To be honest, I'm not all that familiar with the fandom jargon. I'm pretty sure that OTP is an acronym for the term only true pairing, but I don't know if I've ever fully understood the meaning of it. But if taken literally, saying that Spuffy is my OTP would imply that I'd find the other pairings somehow less true or not true at all, and that's not how I feel by a long shot. I don't think Spuffy's any truer or falser than any other pairing, but it's the pairing that touches me the most, resonates within me like nothing else. I back them 100% and I...I believe in them. *ponders* Gah, it's really hard to try and explain this!

As for my taste in fics, I mostly read Spuffy or gen fics. But it's not because I couldn't stomach anything else but because I find the said genres the easiest to relate to and get absorbed into. Back when I started reading fanfiction I'd been emotionally numb for quite some time. I was a human robot, a functioning object, not a living person. I didn't even feel bad anymore. And then came this thing, these people - Buffy and Spike - and their story, and something opened inside of me, something broke free, and ever since I've been learning to feel again. But it's still hard, feeling and relating, and even harder are the situations where I realize that I can't do either, and so I feel most comfortable sticking to the stuff that I can more or less count on. I guess. *feels suddenly a bit shy* God, I'm such a weirdo!