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17 September 2008 @ 01:39 pm
Something is Seriously Wrong with Me  

I just signed up for the[info]iwry_marathon, which is a Buffy/Angel ficathon in November. I know. Please, don't look at me that way. I'm not sure why either. I mean, I never participate in ficathons because I get really frazzeled and weird about writing on deadline. After quitting the paper, "the deadline" has become like a trigger for PTSD for me or something. And if it would be anything, you'd think it'd be[info]seasonal_spuffy, but no. Buffy/Angel, a pairing I don't even write. Except... I've been thinking about them recently after watching S1 episodes for[info]fantas_magoria. And with thinking and viewing comes story ideas and that annoying old niggeling feeling that I get from time to time of "You've never done this, but you could. You could even do it well." When the inner CoC starts issuing evil challenges like that, I want to prove her right.

It also seems pretty appealing because I really like[info]chrisleeoctaves, who's running the ficathon, and I've actually read a couple of solid Bangel stories that I really enjoyed recently. Not to mention, it's a whole group of fandom writers I don't usually engage with and they seem to be a pretty nice and talented lot from what I've gathered at [info]fantas_magoria. So, I'll dabble my toe in the Bangel waters and see what happens. It's fresh ground for me to explore - something I get a little giddy over.

As always, I'm digging the notion of a late-season fic, perhaps at the start of S6 when Buffy abruptly announces that she's going to see Angel after her resurrection. I'm sure it's a FITB that's been done to death, but why couldn't I put my spin on it, too? I'm not really sure if I want a pairing or gen fic. It all depends when I set it, where they're at emotionally. Still a lot of pondering to do.

In short, the whole notion that I volunteered for this is sort of freaky to me, but I hope I have all of your support. Maybe you're even slightly curious how I might choose to depict Buffy and Angel together. Hm? *nudge* Maybe?

 
 
 
ellan_vannin on September 17th, 2008 06:03 pm (UTC)
Good writing is good writing, babe, and if this is what you've put your mind to, there's no reason it won't be great.

I'm new to participation in the fandom, but I've been following it for a long time. I don't get the OTP-thing. I mean, I get it in the sense that a certain pairing speaks to you or you're seriously crushing on the character(s) or whatever, but the writers I admire have all pushed themselves at one time or another. Even chrisleeoctaves has written some truly beautiful B/A/S stories that have haunted me for weeks. And while that may not be a radical departure from Bangel, it's certainly a twist.

The best thing about the Buffyverse is that it's rich enough to encompass a vast range of relationships without diminishing any of them. So is your writing, so have faith. Or, um, rather, Bangel. ;)
ClawofCat: hugsclawofcat on September 17th, 2008 06:22 pm (UTC)
*sigh of relief* Thanks for your kind, supportive words, darling. I think it's fairly obvious to anyone that I don't have an OTP, not even a 1TP of Spike. I've written stories (not many) without him in them. And for all the Spuffy stories I've written, I have just as many non-Spuffy fics to my name, too.

I guess I just look at my flist and think to myself that most people friended me because of my Spuffy stories. I write first and foremost for myself (unless I'm specifically writing a fic as a present), but I do think of my readers. Lets be honest, the Spuffy and Bangel 'shippers historically have a contentious relationship. Or so I'm told. I've never seen a 'ship war myself, but I've heard of them. And I like to think that my readers are as adventurous as I am and would like to take the journey with me, but I'm sure that's not entirely the case either. This is just me being a bit anxious and neurotic, which really shouldn't be feelings I need to drag into fandom. I've had enough of it in RL, and after school ended I've done a good job at keeping it at bay, for which I am uber proud.

Even chrisleeoctaves has written some truly beautiful B/A/S stories that have haunted me for weeks.
*nods* She is a lovely writer, mod and editor at [Bad username: su_herald"]. I'm glad that I've become an aquaintance of hers. For that I can thank my dear only_passenger, the only person I know that 'ships Spuffy as hard as she 'ships Bangel (and a bunch of other pairings, too!). I miss her... :(

Thanks, again. I always love the wise words of the mothers on my flist. You ladies get it like no other.
petzipellepingo: btvs is love candy heart by buttersideuppetzipellepingo on September 17th, 2008 06:33 pm (UTC)
rahirah, elisi and st_salieri have all written Buffy/Angel so you're in good company. And maybe stepping out of your comfort zone might be something to really get your creative juices flowing.
ClawofCat: buffy poutclawofcat on September 17th, 2008 07:56 pm (UTC)
*smiles* That is an adorable icon. And, it's true. Many other Spuffy writers have tried some Bangel in their time. I suppose I'm working myself into a tizzy over nothing.

And maybe stepping out of your comfort zone might be something to really get your creative juices flowing.
*laughs* Well... I did step out of my comfort zone when I wrote the fluffy Spuffy scene stealer for "Something Blue" and that just about killed me muse. It's not always a sure things, alas. But, yes. When I do try other things (which is frequently enough) it usually energizes me. I can only hope that this will be the same. The last two weeks I've been staring at the 20 fics ideas I have at various stages of completion and have been frowning rather immaturely since none of them are really speaking to me. Blah, I hate it when that happens.
petzipellepingo: btvs is love candy heart by buttersideuppetzipellepingo on September 17th, 2008 08:57 pm (UTC)
That's the work of orichaldragon.
Sevensevendeadlyfun on September 17th, 2008 07:00 pm (UTC)
I'm actually a closet Bangel girl, so you'll get nothing but love from me one this one. While I see the hotness of Spuffy (and I don't diss my fic friends who like it), I don't see it as a workable relationship. There's too much damage, too many wounds inflicted that I just don't see healing into something resembling a healthy or functional relationship.

That said, Buffy and Angel have a certain closeness and a definite somber sweetness about them that I enjoy. Especially as she got older and her feelings for Angel matured, I loved seeing them on the rare occasions they were together. I think it has to do with how well they were portrayed as being close while still seeming almost stand-offish.

Of course, I also adore Darla/Angel for its in your face angst and emotional damage so I might just be deranged. However, I will definitely read a Buffy/Angel story written by you!
ClawofCat: Bangel hurtclawofcat on September 17th, 2008 08:05 pm (UTC)
Be still, my heart! Maggie left a comment! *jumps around excitedly* I've been thinking of you and missing you and where have you been? Hell, where have I been? I need to get my act together so I can come and frollic with you before The Snow comes.

There's too much damage, too many wounds inflicted that I just don't see healing into something resembling a healthy or functional relationship.
Yes, I remember when we hijacked Jen's post and started discussing Bangel. Good times. As for Spuffy, yeah. I pretty much agree. I love writing them, but I also love writing them at their most fucked up. I don't see them ever having happiness. Perhaps, over time, and with some maturity they could reach an understanding, but I find it hard for Buffy to continue on with either vamp. I was actually dreaming the other night about Buffy taking off after "Chosen" (prompted by Giles) and really trying to find herself without having to be responsible for the world or her family or friends. She becomes so lost in what she does, I think she's also lost sight of who she is. I'd love to write about a Buffy that goes on this journey and finds some solace elsewhere, maybe with another man.

I loved seeing them on the rare occasions they were together.
I wrote a gen fic like that recently set during Forever when Angel comes down to stay with Buffy after Joyce's funeral. It's called "The Hard Choices." If you want to read it, it's on my sidebar. The first half is Buffy/Angel and the second half is Angel's thought about Joyce.

I love Darla/Angel. They're evil and perfect and guh!hot.
mere ubu: cheerleader buffymere_ubu on September 17th, 2008 07:18 pm (UTC)
Spuffy rules! Bangel drools! *defriends* Mwahaha!

Eh, I'm just messin' with you. *hugs* I think you should write whatever moves you. There's some very good Bangel out there. (And yep, chrisleeoctaves writes lovely stuff, esp. her B/A/S.) Happy writing! I can't wait to read it.
ClawofCat: yayclawofcat on September 17th, 2008 08:07 pm (UTC)
Heh heh. You are evil. *loves*

Thanks for your mom-caliber supportive words. They always are exactly what I need to hear.

Now, I must go find more cat videos on youtube. *joy*
Elenamoscow_watcher on September 17th, 2008 08:47 pm (UTC)
Hee! Looks like I'm not the only Spuffy grl who decided to participate IWRY! :))
ClawofCat: yayclawofcat on September 17th, 2008 09:53 pm (UTC)
*phew* I am not alone! Can't wait to see what you contribute. Your banners and icons are always beautiful and creative no matter what the pairing.
louise39: Buffy  surprised  GET OUTlouise39 on September 17th, 2008 09:09 pm (UTC)
"You've never done this, but you could. You could even do it well."
Of course you will do well. And you should stretch and reach outside your writing comfort zone.

Buffy was in a perilous state in Season 6. Wonder where you'll place her?
ClawofCat: buffy pensiveclawofcat on September 17th, 2008 09:57 pm (UTC)
*beams* Thanks for the vote of confidence. You, and everyone else, are awesome and I don't know what I was freaking out for. It's especially wonderful hearing it from you since you've been with me from the beginning and have boldly followed me into non-Spuffy fic territory. For that, I thank you, as well.

Buffy was in a perilous state in Season 6. Wonder where you'll place her?
You know, I have no idea. I always think about her in context with Spike during S6. I'll have to do some ep rewatching to figure out what might have happened had she seen Angel. Probably a lot of emotions, good and bad.
chrislee: B/A can't say staychrisleeoctaves on September 18th, 2008 01:55 am (UTC)
See- no one realizes how devious I am and how every single year I manage to coerce non B/A people into writing B/A.

Although it's true that I am madly and completely in love with B/A it is also true that I don't like 75% of the B/A fic out there- which is why I read widely (although not quite so widely anymore because I have no time wah!) I have Sublime for all my most favourite B/A fic...and I love this November marathon because it always produces some lovely fic...much of it from people like you who don't necessarily ship them. Sometimes a story from that perspective is gorgeous...much more agreeable (to me at least) than fic written from the gooey-white-picket-fence-centre of many so-called shippers. I prefer to write B/A as complicated, forever, hopeful...but not necessarily happily-ever-after. Where's the fun in that? (And even as I type that I have to amend what I've just written and say that I have also read some beautiful perfect happily-ever-after stories.)

So, all that to say that I can't wait to see what you write!

Edited at 2008-09-18 01:56 am (UTC)
ClawofCatclawofcat on September 18th, 2008 06:31 pm (UTC)
Ha, yes, sit there a feel smug, missy. You've snagged another one! Devious, indeed.

I don't like 75% of the B/A fic out there
Although I am not madly, deepy in love with B/S, it was what I predominantly read for years. However, once I started writing, I realized I'm pretty particular about how I like my B/S and don't really enjoy much of what it written about them either. I still read the pairing, but selectively, and have switched my reading interest to mostly het with a focus on rare pairings or characters. Our tastes seem to change over time.

although not quite so widely anymore because I have no time
Aw. Is that why you're stepping at the Herald? I thought you actually did a realy great job at offering a very diverse selection of stories by all sorts of different authors. I appreciated that.

LOL. Oh, I don't think you'll have to worry about getting a happy-ever-after from me, no matter what the pairing. Angst is my good buddy. We're tight. I hope I don't disappoint!
framedinlove: banner iconframedinlove on September 18th, 2008 12:23 pm (UTC)
While I have to admit that I'm a Spuffy girl to the marrow, I've never had any problems with other pairings whatsoever. And besides being a Spuffy girl I also love both Spike and Buffy as individuals, and I've always considered Buffy's relationship with Angel (being it romantic or otherwise) an important part of the whole Buffy package. I've never really understood why being a shipper should mean denying and/or disregarding other ships.

As for the ship wars you mentioned, I've never witnessed one either, and couldn't imagine ever getting involved in one. Never ever. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that as a Spuffy shipper I've sometimes felt hurt and sad by the way some people seem to think that their ship's somehow morally superior to all the others and thus gives them the right to be mean and disrespectful. I mean if someone calls me a rapist lover, it's like...there's so much to get angry about within that statement that I find my knees budging in the face of it. It makes me so very tired with people. So tired and so very sad. *sigh*

Anyhow. I'm totally for you writing Bangel or any pairing you feel inspired to write. Diversity is a blessing, I say. And no matter the art form I think it's important for the artist/writer to feel free to experiment and take risks and challenge themselves (as well as the audience) and try out the most unexpected ideas - or in other words do pretty much whatever the hell they please. I find it simply admirable that you're listening to your muse despite all the doubts you might have. So, go get adventurous! I'm sure you'll shine like you always do. :)
ClawofCat: glancesclawofcat on September 18th, 2008 11:36 pm (UTC)
I also love both Spike and Buffy as individuals, and I've always considered Buffy's relationship with Angel an important part of the whole Buffy package.
Absolutely. Their relationship defines/haunts the rest of the series and Buffy's future relationships in many ways, not only because Angel did a real number on her romantically, but he also challenged the convention of the unredeemable demon, introduced the notion of souls to the Jossverse, and was the pater familias of the Auralian vampires that became so near and dear to us over the years. When I think of it, Angel was a pretty big deal as a character in terms of how his presence affected the series' development. That said, he still was a douche sometimes, lol.

I find it simply admirable that you're listening to your muse despite all the doubts you might have. So, go get adventurous!
Thank you, sweetie. The comments I've received on this post have put me much more at ease about my decision. You're wonderful. But, then, you ladies always are the supportive ones. It's the lurky, non-commenting people (why are they friended to me exactly?) that I sort of wonder about at times. Not like I should. It's your opinion I respect and you who I've come to know and care about.

When you say you're a Spuffy girl, does that mean that you only read Spuffy or that you just back that relationship 100%? Or both? Is that an OTP? I'm always so confused by what all that jargon really means.
framedinlove: banner iconframedinlove on September 19th, 2008 06:41 pm (UTC)
When you say you're a Spuffy girl, does that mean that you only read Spuffy or that you just back that relationship 100%? Or both? Is that an OTP?

To be honest, I'm not all that familiar with the fandom jargon. I'm pretty sure that OTP is an acronym for the term only true pairing, but I don't know if I've ever fully understood the meaning of it. But if taken literally, saying that Spuffy is my OTP would imply that I'd find the other pairings somehow less true or not true at all, and that's not how I feel by a long shot. I don't think Spuffy's any truer or falser than any other pairing, but it's the pairing that touches me the most, resonates within me like nothing else. I back them 100% and I...I believe in them. *ponders* Gah, it's really hard to try and explain this!

As for my taste in fics, I mostly read Spuffy or gen fics. But it's not because I couldn't stomach anything else but because I find the said genres the easiest to relate to and get absorbed into. Back when I started reading fanfiction I'd been emotionally numb for quite some time. I was a human robot, a functioning object, not a living person. I didn't even feel bad anymore. And then came this thing, these people - Buffy and Spike - and their story, and something opened inside of me, something broke free, and ever since I've been learning to feel again. But it's still hard, feeling and relating, and even harder are the situations where I realize that I can't do either, and so I feel most comfortable sticking to the stuff that I can more or less count on. I guess. *feels suddenly a bit shy* God, I'm such a weirdo!
hello_spikeyhello_spikey on September 18th, 2008 05:13 pm (UTC)
well, you write a wonderful Angel and you write a great Buffy, so your Angel and Buffy should be phenomenal.

Even if I get all itchy when I read a story without spike in it... ;)
ClawofCat: angelfaith glanceclawofcat on September 18th, 2008 11:39 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the vote of confidence, darling.

Also, your evening out with Ash sounds amazing. I'm so jealous!