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04 September 2008 @ 08:50 pm
So, so tired. Must nap and/or go to sleep for the evening. After reading the fic over, I am not happy with how it's turned out and will have to continue to revise. It's not the sort of thing I normally write and it feels forced. And that's frustrating because I want it to sound like me, my style. It doesn't. More toil required. Sorry, guys. Gotta wait a bit longer for this one. Now I must collapse.
ellan_vannin on September 5th, 2008 01:10 am (UTC)
Oh geez, can I so relate to that. Unfortunately, I don't have your wealth of experience when it comes to fanfic, and so toil and post anyway, hoping that practice will rememdy the lack. While you, of course, have something I believe is called "confidence" and something else... what is it? Oh yeah! TALENT.
ClawofCat: fangel wisdomclawofcat on September 5th, 2008 02:41 am (UTC)
Don't get down on yourself. Everyone starts out as a newbie. The only way to become experienced is to keep writing :) When I posted my first fic, I hadn't written fiction in five years. I was burned out from writing hard news for a local newspaper and wanted to let my creativity run wild. We each come to fandom our own way.

What breaks my heart about so many fic writers is the lack of confidence they have in themselves. Even some of the best writers I know constantly doubt themselves. Me, I am confident. I've written all my life. It's what I am. I feel pretty secure in that, but I know that's certainly not the experience or background that many others come from.

Something that that many people here have a hard time with is response, lack thereof, and criticism. Coming from a news background, I constantly had editors working with me, pulling things apart, moving them around, revising leads, etc. That process is natural and why I very much encourage people to take on a beta. You become more confident in yourself when you have someone to support you. As you continue to write, you begin to figure out your strengths and your weaknesses and that's how you grow. People dole out praise in fandom quite generously, which is great. We all like to be told we've got talent. But I think people tend to lose sight of the bigger picture. For me (and I can only speak for myself), it's about learning, challenging myself and growing as a writer.

I can tell you straight out that you have nothing to be embarassed about, so you should get that notion out of your head. From the little I've read, you have a strong narrative voice and a creative mind. Focus on developing those. The confidence will come :)
ellan_vannin on September 5th, 2008 11:10 am (UTC)
Your very sweet and I really appreciate that you took the time to share your experience. Like you, I come from a different writing background which has given me the audacity to even try my hand at fiction (not counting a few abortive attempts during high school), and I absolutely agree with your attitude that it should be about challenging oneself.

I'm not as much embarrassed as frustrated right now... I have these stories in my head and I know I want to tell them, knowing I can tell them will come with time, I guess. What I really wanted to do was pay you a compliment and it ended up being very back-handed, for which I apologize. I may not know much about getting my own stories out of my head and into the world, but I definitely know when somebody else does it right, and you hit the mark every time.
mere ubu: hugmere_ubu on September 5th, 2008 01:57 am (UTC)
Sleep and toil no more, tired girl. *pulls up covers* Writing when you're worn out is no longer compulsory. ;)
ClawofCat: hugsclawofcat on September 5th, 2008 02:18 am (UTC)
*snuggles* You're such a mom. I love it.

Writing when you're worn out is no longer compulsory. ;)
I'm actually a little teary-eyed just reading that. Thinking about how I had to keep going even when I had nothing left is still so upsetting to me. And that was four months ago, now.

The fic in question is actually the one I am writing for you. I'm going for something fluffier in a season I've never written before and maybe that's the problem. I should make it easier for myself. No need to reinvent the wheel.
mere ubu: spike: pookiemere_ubu on September 5th, 2008 02:46 am (UTC)
My own memories of all-nighter hell have faded somewhat but not enough for me to ever go back for my PhD. Horrors! And then to have to turn around and inflict the same thing on my students? Dude. Thank you, no. I am happy, though, that I've discovered other kinds of writing that I actually like to do.

Srsly, don't stress yourself out. *pets you* I'm just tickled that you would even consider going to the fluffy place for me. :)

Edited at 2008-09-05 02:46 am (UTC)
framedinlove: banner iconframedinlove on September 5th, 2008 11:19 am (UTC)
Take all the time you need for resting as well as with the fic! We'll be here when you feel the time is right. And really, you so don't have to apologise for anything! Writing fics is not something you should feel required or obliged to do. When I think about the fics I've read I see them as gifts from the author to the readers, and such gifts should never be taken for granted. If there's a new story to read I feel delighted and grateful, but if there isn't I don't go around thinking that there should. Fics are not something we readers are entitled to - they're heavenly things that you authors spoil us with, bless your hearts! :)

ClawofCat: crapclawofcat on September 5th, 2008 01:05 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much for the kind words. I've been putting long days in at work the last week and I guess they finally caught up to me.

I've written 4 ficlets in the last 3 weeks. I should have just stuck with that instead of pushing myself so hard. I haven't written a full-length one-shot since April and I've been trying to go slow and take baby steps since I'm so out of practice. On top of the length of this story, I also tried to write comedy and fluffy sex in a season I've never done before. It was pretty foolish of me, now that I think about it. I'm tempted to scrap the whole thing, but it would be such a waste to get rid of it. Blah with a capital B.
M: Restless gang sleepspankulert on September 5th, 2008 11:59 am (UTC)
Writing is never compulsory around here, and sleep is very much a necessity. Brain works better when it's not tired and stretched thin anyways.

We'll be here waiting :)
ClawofCat: spuffy redclawofcat on September 5th, 2008 01:08 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much for the support. It means a lot to hear it.

I should know by now that imposing false deadlines on myself never works. It didn't in school and it doesn't now. Silly me.