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22 August 2008 @ 01:26 pm
What's Twilight?  
I was on the train this morning flipping through Entertainment Weekly and I came across an article about the Twilight vampire series written by Stephanie Meyer. The article declared her a smash hit and overnight sensation, rivaling J.K. Rowling in popularity (whose books I also don't read). Based on the description - a 17 year old girl falling in love with a "mysterious, black-clad hunk of a night thing" (as Spike would say) bloodsucker - and the journalists own comparison of the books to Buffy, I wondered why I hadn't heard any news about this floating around fandom. Has anyone read these things? Admittedly, it's something I would stay away from with a ten foot pole. Romance novel-esque damsels in distress that swoon over their preternatural objects of affection? Nah, I'll just write myself some dirty fic instead. But still, my curiosity is piqued.
The Anti-OTPsnowpuppies on August 22nd, 2008 05:43 pm (UTC)
I haven't read them.

But from reviewers, commenters and other people, I've learned this:

Edward (the vampire) is perfect. and Bella (the girl) is a blank slate.

That's enough said, for me.
ClawofCat: family funclawofcat on August 22nd, 2008 06:10 pm (UTC)
Edward (the vampire) is perfect. and Bella (the girl) is a blank slate.
Oh, well that sounds like fun. Who wants to read about perfect people, anyway? Some flaws and a shady (homicidal, even) past go a long way in keeping a gal interested.

That's enough said, for me.
Hm, me too.

Is your class over, hun? It looks like you've resurfaced.
(no subject) - snowpuppies on August 24th, 2008 12:48 am (UTC) (Expand)
Mspankulert on August 22nd, 2008 05:44 pm (UTC)
I've had Twilight crawling all over my flist. So much so that I had to find out what it was. Brace yourself for this: Vampires. That sparkle.

To some the book is a joke/travesty, to others it's like crack. From what I hear it's very Mary Sue, and the quotes I've read it's very reminiscent of bad!fic.
ClawofCat: dear lordclawofcat on August 22nd, 2008 06:17 pm (UTC)
Vampires. That sparkle.
Wha? Alright, you're going to have to explain that one to me.

From what I hear it's very Mary Sue, and the quotes I've read it's very reminiscent of bad!fic.
Mary Sue and bad!fic, huh? This just goes to show that just because you're a NYT Bestseller dosen't mean you actually have talent. I'm always sort of stunned how people in fandom can glorify the life of published authors or make comments like "You should be published." It doesn't necessarily show the measure of a

*goes off grumbling to herself*

Edited at 2008-08-22 06:18 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - spankulert on August 22nd, 2008 11:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
eowyn_315: Oucheowyn_315 on August 22nd, 2008 06:24 pm (UTC)
Okay, I have to admit I loled at the fact that you've completely missed the Twilight craze. Consider yourself lucky.

If you really want to know, I recommend these recaps, which are hilarious and way more bearable than reading the books themselves (as far as I can tell, having never read them).
ClawofCat: Laughclawofcat on August 22nd, 2008 07:04 pm (UTC)
OMG! That link has some of the most frickin' hilarious stuff I've read in awhile. I love her commentary. My co-workers were glancing at me as I snickered at my desk. Not only is she great at poking fun at the books, but the excerpts she quotes are like... utter crap. The plot sounds crack, the writing sounds crack, the characterization with Blood Sucking Utero Baby is crack. I love it. When I get home I'll read the entire post.

Where did you ever come across this stuff? Brilliant. *glomps you*
(no subject) - eowyn_315 on August 22nd, 2008 07:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
flake_sakeflake_sake on August 22nd, 2008 07:11 pm (UTC)
I read the first one and was astonished that something that poor and boring makes it to the bestseller list. What a waste of time and paper.

But on the bright sight, there are wonderfully snarky reviews, like this one in comic form:


Edited at 2008-08-22 07:11 pm (UTC)
ClawofCat: Seriously?clawofcat on August 22nd, 2008 07:52 pm (UTC)
LOL! tkp for the win! "OMG, IT SUCKS" stick figures are awesome.

As people reply to this post I am increasingly thrilled that I did miss out on this craze because I now get to reap the benefits of parodies instead.

BTW - what's with the vampires that sparkle reference?
(no subject) - rahirah on August 22nd, 2008 07:56 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - clawofcat on August 22nd, 2008 08:00 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - flake_sake on August 22nd, 2008 08:05 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - clawofcat on August 22nd, 2008 08:14 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - flake_sake on August 22nd, 2008 08:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rahirah on August 23rd, 2008 12:04 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - flake_sake on August 23rd, 2008 07:23 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dragonflylady77 on August 24th, 2008 11:22 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - eowyn_315 on August 24th, 2008 12:48 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - clawofcat on August 24th, 2008 01:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - eowyn_315 on August 24th, 2008 01:16 am (UTC) (Expand)
Barbrahirah on August 22nd, 2008 07:55 pm (UTC)
I have read excerpts and summaries, and they made me run away, screaming and clawing my eyes out.
ClawofCat: knowing faceclawofcat on August 22nd, 2008 08:05 pm (UTC)
Based on the links provided by eowyn_315 and flake_sake I can completely understand why. You have to check out the post linked by Eowyn. Frickin' hilarious.

I'm glad we can all smuggly sit back and chortle to ourselves about the poor quality of the books though. And to think there has actually been vampire lore that I've enjoyed outside of Buffy. What happened to the Forever Knight's of the world?

Maybe I'd find it in Moonlight or the Dresden Files. I've heard sort of mixed things on those fronts, too.
(no subject) - rahirah on August 22nd, 2008 11:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Tamspikeslovebite on August 22nd, 2008 08:57 pm (UTC)
to my great shame, i'll admit to reading the first two, but by the time i made it to book three i was screaming and tearing my hair out, mostly because as a beta, the typos/grammatical errors just made me want to hork my lunch in the authors face...and don't get me started on the whole sparkling thing...
on the other hand, my 17 yr old niece thinks the whole thing is made of awesome and is waiting breathlessly for the movie *eyeroll*
ClawofCat: pondersclawofcat on August 23rd, 2008 04:18 pm (UTC)
to my great shame, i'll admit to reading the first two
*Raises hands pontificately* You are absolved!

the typos/grammatical errors just made me want to hork my lunch in the authors face
While an author certainly has a responsibility to, you know, utilize the English language and grammar to the best of their ability, you gotta wonder what broke down on the editor's end along the way. I've also read published books where I've been appalled by the typos or writing. It's almost shameful. Not to mention that they get paid to put out drivel. Though we may not be compensated for our writerly efforts, I've got no complaints about all of us merrily playing in our communal sandbox entertaining each other with good writing :)

my 17 yr old niece thinks the whole thing is made of awesome and is waiting breathlessly for the movie
Do you think it would be worth it to see the movie? Compared to the books, that's only 2 hours of my life plus $12 vs. hours upon hours and $45 in paperbacks.
chrislee: bad ass weschrisleeoctaves on August 22nd, 2008 09:53 pm (UTC)
My favourite defense of the book(s) is when people say: it was written for teens.

Um. Teens are WAY smarter than this, I think.

You know it's bad when you start editing the writing in your head. I gave up about 1/3 of the way through book 3. It's SO bad.
ClawofCat: dawn jailbaitclawofcat on August 23rd, 2008 04:23 pm (UTC)
I certainly wouldn't have been reading Twilight if I was still 15. And I agree. Just because you're young, doesn't mean you have bad taste or can't discern good writing from bad!

Mechanical errors or clumsiness aside, is the basic premise of the books intriguing? Like, did she have a good idea but just executed it with supreme failure?
(no subject) - chrisleeoctaves on August 24th, 2008 01:43 am (UTC) (Expand)
wicked_plum7: vfrancis: la baronesswicked_plum7 on August 22nd, 2008 10:12 pm (UTC)

Wait they sparkle?

...and play BASEBALL?????

Wow where have these books been all my life??!!!!

No but seriously, I read the first two pages and promptly wanted to spork my eyes out.

What ever happened to vampires that loved to EAT YOU?
ClawofCat: vamp spikeclawofcat on August 23rd, 2008 04:28 pm (UTC)
You win for giving up on the books the fastest! I've heard on this thread people reading a few of them, just one of them, 1/3 of the first one, and now just a mere 2 pages.

No one's mentioned the baseball yet. 'Splainy?

What ever happened to vampires that loved to EAT YOU?
I quite prefer them like that, yes. With the fangs and the bloodlust and perhaps the thrall. I will admit though that after Buffy, I always feel a little disappointed when vamps don't morph. The demony vamp face sort of turns me on... They look like lions (especially Spike). *drools with shame*
ellan_vannin on August 22nd, 2008 10:28 pm (UTC)
My kid (the one who prefers Angelus over Angel?) inexplicably looooves these books. I know I should be reading them, too, so I can be all "responsible parent" but then I'd have to bleach my brain and I'm kinda not up to that. I just rely on the fact that she still shows common sense and try not to puncture my own ear drums when she talks about it.
ClawofCat: angelus smokesclawofcat on August 23rd, 2008 04:32 pm (UTC)
Now that's interesting. She loves evil, murdering, torturing Angelus, but also digs perfect, infallible, beautiful Edward. Hm... Has she explained what she likes about them or ever compared them to BtVS/AtS?
(no subject) - ellan_vannin on August 23rd, 2008 04:44 pm (UTC) (Expand)
missus_grace: inconceivablemissus_grace on August 23rd, 2008 05:32 am (UTC)
I see you've already been pointed to the cleolinda link. She's hilarious. And she also posts links to Twilight stuff on fandom wank. I can spend hours clicking on those things. I thought I might read the books until I paid attention to the wank.

I think I'd be among the "sporking my eyes out" crew if I tried.

Besides, we all know the most beautifullest and handsomest and most awesomest vampire ever is Spike. And I'm happy that he doesn't sparkle.
'Nuf said.
ClawofCat: nakedspikeclawofcat on August 23rd, 2008 04:39 pm (UTC)
Besides, we all know the most beautifullest and handsomest and most awesomest vampire ever is Spike.
He so is! It's a given. *nods*

I wonder if anyone has done a Buffy/Twilight crossover where Spike meets Edward and whoops his ass for being a pansy. I'd read that.

I've always wanted to read a Spike/Cassidy crossover. Cassidy is an Irish vampire from the turn of the century who's part of the ensemble cast in the comic series Preacher. He drinks, fucks and swears a whole lot. Is kind of a bonehead and likes to fight. Oh! And gets tortured and beat up regularly. I think they'd have a lot in common. Could be a great convo over a pint.
(no subject) - isbrealiomcaife on February 16th, 2009 02:25 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - clawofcat on February 16th, 2009 03:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
dragonflylady77: OMGdragonflylady77 on August 24th, 2008 11:57 am (UTC)
OMG I'd heard about it vaguely but after reading all those comments and checking the links kindly provided, I really feel like opening one at my local library and having a look cos it sounds like a bunch of lolz...

ClawofCat: Xander thinkingclawofcat on August 24th, 2008 06:07 pm (UTC)
I was actually trying to find an electronic version of the book or excerpts from it so I could read and cringe. It's like looking at a trainwreck. It sounds horrible, but you're still morbidly curious and want to look.