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26 August 2008 @ 10:00 pm
Ficlet ~ Burn Marks  
Title: Burn Marks
Author: ClawofCat
Timing: Season 6, Post-Wrecked
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Buffy/Spike
Word Count: 705
Warnings: Violent sex
Summary: A sequel to The Cross. Buffy takes out her tumultuous emotions on Spike with surprising results. 
 
A/N: Written as a follow-up ficlet to my entry for fantas_magoria’s episode prompt for “Angel.” Beta’d by eowyn_315

Disclaimer: The characters are the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. No profit is gained from my writerly endeavors and no copyright infringement is intended.
 
*******
 
Mashed against the wall, she screams and kicks and bites and scratches. He wouldn’t call it violent, exactly. Not when she seems to want to escape rather than confront the shade that’s haunting her.
 
The belt of her thighs around his waist keeps her anchored to him, synched tight through their frantic rocking. Her fingers join in and burrow through his hair only to score his flesh as they drop to his neck and shoulders when she’s dragged away on every out-thrust. He watches her tangled hair fall in front of her face, sticky with sweat, a few ends clinging to the corners of her open, gasping mouth. She meets his eyes once or twice as hers rove. They shine when he tries to suppress his own glints of gold. If he could, he would take a moment to slow down, but she keeps on squirming, the constant movement her version of busy work until she can figure out what she’s really after.
 
He figures out fast that shoving her against the rough surface of the crypt grounds her. It keeps her at arm’s length, too, if only for a moment. When he hesitates on every surge forward, she goads him to go more quickly, her raspy pleas coming out through clenched teeth. Their wild dancing has him screaming, too, as his skin singes, the iron-hot sting of the cross on her neck sending smoke signals up from his chest like an S.O.S. The smell of his flesh burning has his demon on alert, trying to push its fangs forward in defense. 
 
She’s close; he can tell. Palming her ass, he brings her in tight, fucking harder and deeper and faster. He figures it’s like the Heimlich maneuver. If he pumps hard enough and in the right rhythm he can dislodge what’s been suffocating her, choking her into paralysis. He wants to help her breathe. He already lost her once.
 
It’s over quickly after that, and they slide to the floor together, his arms circling around her back. It’s wet where flecks of blood dot her shoulder blades after being rubbed raw. His lips plaster themselves to her brow as he hums soothing syllables to her and rocks and rocks and rocks.
 
“It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.”
 
Glancing down, he frowns. Against her pale skin, the necklace is a bold statement. The cross bisects her chest straight down the center, an arrow pointing north and south to her throat and her cunt. Appropriate, that, he thinks.   
 
He has time to look as she gradually raises her head, and her hands steady herself against his shoulders. When she doesn’t say anything, he realizes that she’s looking, too.
 
She takes in all the superficial little wounds coloring his skin, but the burn marks give her pause. Like tic-tac-toe, the burns are stamped across him in a grid. They’re the worst on his chest and neck, like half-constructed roadside grave markers. He thinks she grimaces, wants to ask why in the world she wore the thing, but holds his tongue and lets her look.
 
Her little hands creep down, hesitant, as though they’ve been chastised. She traces the clean edges of the wounds, her own form of branding, so it would seem. It hurts a little where she prods, but the burns are superficial – gone in a matter of days, maybe even hours, depending on how hard he hits the O negative. When she frames them with her teed and crossed fingers, her eyelids open and close like a camera shutter. It’s another memory. Her solemn attention unnerves him.
 
Wrapping his hands around her fists, he raises them to kiss her knuckles, already seeing the tension return to her body, her face.
 
“What do you need from me, love?” he murmurs, flexing his thighs where she’s still seated upon them.
 
She’s hesitates, blinks. “I want those,” she mutters, nodding off to the side. Thrown on the floor is a pair of handcuffs.
 
When he returns with them dangling from his thumb, he holds them out to her. She pushes them back.
 
“Not for you. For me.”
 
He raises his eyebrow and she looks away.
 
“Make it hurt. Make it burn,” she says simply, her wrists upturned.   
 
 
 
dragonflylady77dragonflylady77 on August 27th, 2008 03:45 am (UTC)
Hmmm...
Not sure Spike enjoyed the cross all that much, except for the part that it was what Buffy wanted.
ClawofCat: spike pleasureclawofcat on August 27th, 2008 04:38 am (UTC)
Nah, he didn't enjoy it. I actually really wasn't intending to write anything more of this, but while I was working on another ficlet this continuation just grabbed me by the (figurative) balls and muscled its way onto the page. I'm not even sure this is what I had in mind when I was thinking about their after-encounter the other night. This was what came out, regardless.

Writing is weird. Sometimes it's very much what you intend and other times you just don't know where it comes from, like possession. I will admit, when you just get swept along by an idea and don't have to think about it too much, it's a lot easier!
(no subject) - dragonflylady77 on August 27th, 2008 02:07 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - snowpuppies on August 28th, 2008 03:08 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - clawofcat on August 28th, 2008 04:27 am (UTC) (Expand)
hello_spikeyhello_spikey on August 27th, 2008 12:41 pm (UTC)
great googly moogly how I love the Spuffy darkness! And mmmmm you deliver just right. Love the line about helping her breathe.

*pats the co-dependent vampire*
mmmm sexy.
ClawofCat: stake spikeclawofcat on August 28th, 2008 04:32 am (UTC)
*cackles with glee* Suffer! Suffer! Glad I could get you there with this one. It's darker than I usually go, but circumstances called for it. Buffy's bad emotional state = Buffy's kinktastic, anger-fueled fuck fest.

Spike really is rather misguided. He has no idea how to help, so he just grasps at straws. Poor boy means well though.
(no subject) - hello_spikey on August 28th, 2008 01:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - clawofcat on August 29th, 2008 05:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
ellan_vannin on August 27th, 2008 01:12 pm (UTC)
Their wild dancing has him screaming, too, as his skin singes, the iron-hot sting of the cross on her neck sending smoke signals up from his chest like an S.O.S.
I love that visual, I think it defines the entire encounter.

When she frames them with her teed and crossed fingers, her eyelids open and close like a camera shutter. It’s another memory.
And that too! It's very much a reminder that these moments are brief in the grand scheme of their relationship.

Violent and sad, and so very hot!
ClawofCat: orgasmclawofcat on August 28th, 2008 04:38 am (UTC)
I love that visual, I think it defines the entire encounter.
Me, too. I love going wild with the figurative language and symbolism and this really gets to the heart of it. She's wearing the cross because she wants to make Spike see what she's going through. It's a cry for help, as twisted as it is. And it's a cry she only lets Spike hear (and feel).

Glad you liked it. It's been awhile since I got to write a serious sex scene. My fave! *licks lips*
kudagirlkudagirl on August 27th, 2008 01:25 pm (UTC)
Buffy is in a very dark place. Spike doesn't seem to be pushing her there. He seems to want to help her heal, but she is determined to burn her pain out of her system. She keeps upping the stakes to see how much she can survive. Is she searching for a breaking point?
ClawofCat: buffy hurtsclawofcat on August 28th, 2008 04:49 am (UTC)
Is she searching for a breaking point?
I'm not really sure. Except for the couple of sex scenes we get throughout Season 6, it's hard to tell if Spike and she were engaging in high risk sexual practices. When I first was thinking about this ficlet, I thought that Buffy might try and goad Spike into rollplaying with her, pretending to be as viscous as he used to be. But here the sense that I get is that Buffy mentally fabricates a lot of her obstacles and pain and systematically tears herself down. It's a hell of her own making. She tells Tara "not to forgive her" and this is Buffy's way of punishing herself for her own perceived wrong-doing, which she only perpetuates by being with Spike. A pretty vicious cycle overall. Sometimes I get caught up trying to figure Buffy out myself.

Do you think she had a breaking point on the show?
(no subject) - kudagirl on August 28th, 2008 11:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
treadingthedarktreadingthedark on August 27th, 2008 01:53 pm (UTC)
You write an excellent Buffy right on the edge. Good stuff.
ClawofCat: another collisionclawofcat on August 28th, 2008 04:51 am (UTC)
Thank you! She's really hanging by a thread here.
mere ubu: s/b make it hurtmere_ubu on August 27th, 2008 02:16 pm (UTC)
Appropriate, that, he thinks.

Indeed! Beautiful, painful picture here, and so vivid--Spike trying, in his midguided way, to help, and Buffy wanting only to hurt/be hurt.
ClawofCat: sexual tensionclawofcat on August 28th, 2008 04:57 am (UTC)
Perfect icon! *gives you a cookie* How do you always do that?

Spike trying, in his midguided way, to help, and Buffy wanting only to hurt/be hurt.
They are rather tragic here, it's true. Glad you thought Spike was a bit misguided, too. He doesn't really understand how to make Buffy better and by giving in to her whims he only enables her further by not helpling her break the cycle. She's stuck on this loop and he's got to knock her out of it. Magical Cock of Healing aside, he's gotta think outside the soulless box.
(no subject) - red_satin_doll on November 8th, 2012 11:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - clawofcat on November 14th, 2012 02:59 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - red_satin_doll on November 14th, 2012 10:44 pm (UTC) (Expand)
louise39: Buffy  ANGSTlouise39 on August 27th, 2008 05:40 pm (UTC)
What a pair...She hurts him seeking some kind of relief and then wants him to hurt her. He will do anything for her - even hurt her.

The violence and pain spiral around them with no purpose.
ClawofCat: loaded gunclawofcat on August 28th, 2008 02:04 pm (UTC)
The violence and pain spiral around them with no purpose.
This really goes to show just how out of control they are and how ill-equipped and misguided Spike is in believing he's helping her. The sex is just an escape. It doesn't get to the root of the problem, but by allowing Buffy to cintinue on with him, it only perpetuates her own cycle of self-loathing. Buffy is beyond fucked up here. She really could have done with some intense therapy.
(no subject) - louise39 on September 1st, 2008 10:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - clawofcat on September 2nd, 2008 01:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
flake_sakeflake_sake on August 27th, 2008 08:30 pm (UTC)
Very cool ficlet! Loved how you caught, how messed up Buffy and Spike's thing in S6 is. How he jsut wants to make it better, to make her feel alive. And she does but in the end through pain.
ClawofCat: feel aliveclawofcat on August 28th, 2008 02:07 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. They are a truly tragic pair in this ficlet. Spike has good intentions, but he's incredibly ill-equipped to know how to help her. Buffy's ability to connect with the world seems to only be effective if it's mediated through the tactile - pain being a big component of that. It seems so counter-intuitive though. She escapes the pain through pain? Wtf, Buffy?
playfuldancerplayfuldancer on August 27th, 2008 10:55 pm (UTC)
Wow, beautifully done as usual.

Now the question is will it hurt Spike to give her what she's asking for?

I must admit the Heimlich part made me giggle, but that's only because of Eddie Izzard :P


ClawofCat: got ecstasyclawofcat on August 28th, 2008 02:12 pm (UTC)
Now the question is will it hurt Spike to give her what she's asking for?
Well, we know that he has the ability to her hurt. So, the chip certainly won't go off. If you're asking if hurting her will hurt him emotionally, than the answer is probably. Still, when you're the one dishing out the pain, you have the control. I'm unclear here myself is Buffy's wants to truly be hurt or if she craves an S&M type of scenario that's painful, but that she ultimately derives some sexual pleasure from. If that's the case and doesn't want just a beating (which I don't think Spike would agree to), Spike's probably got a fair amount of experience in the pleasure/pain department. Spending a century with Dru must have given him quite a few skills. In which case, Spike is the best partner to give Buffy what she thinks she wants.

I must admit the Heimlich part made me giggle, but that's only because of Eddie Izzard :P
I'm not familiar with what routine of his has the Heimlich. Is there a link from youtube you could direct me to that maybe has his stand-up?
(no subject) - playfuldancer on August 28th, 2008 04:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - clawofcat on August 29th, 2008 06:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Angelamiss_faith_hope on August 28th, 2008 03:05 am (UTC)
Huzzahs! I love how dark and alluring, the relationship between Spike and Buffy was. Just all the darkness, the pain, just to try to forget everything. Its just so unbelievably smoking hot. Its like Buffy burns for him..and can't stay away and vice versa.

God, when is the last time I wrote fanfic..in quite a while..
ClawofCat: coc spuffy kissclawofcat on August 29th, 2008 05:29 am (UTC)
I love Spuffy's dark allure, as well. As a fan of angst, they really are a great couple to tackle. The possibilities are endless. The hot-factor certainly doesn't hurt either ;)

Thanks for reading and commenting!
The Anti-OTP: dollhouse: echo cropsnowpuppies on August 28th, 2008 03:14 am (UTC)
This is so beautifully dark and achy and...just hell.

You do desperate well, which is why Spuffy really aches true in your hands.
ClawofCat: coc bw spuffyclawofcat on August 29th, 2008 05:35 am (UTC)
Very glad to hear it met with the Snowy seal of approval. This is a little darker than I usually go, but it was an idea that snagged me and just wouldn't let go.

You do desperate well, which is why Spuffy really aches true in your hands.
*bows* A wonderful compliment from a wonderful talent and non-Spuffy shipper. It's interesting you say that. My beta commented after reading this ficlet that she thought my best character is actually depressed!Buffy. She had recently read my first two Spuffy stories evah, which also deal with a S6 depressed Buffy and felt I really get her whole mindset. That fucking thrills me because Buffy can be really tough to get. You know, with being sort of a nutjob in many ways.

On an unrelated note - Eliza boobies! *grabs*
(no subject) - snowpuppies on August 29th, 2008 05:59 am (UTC) (Expand)
missus_gracemissus_grace on August 28th, 2008 06:26 am (UTC)
If he pumps hard enough and in the right rhythm he can dislodge what’s been suffocating her, choking her into paralysis.

Yes. He spent their entire sexual relationship trying to do this.
ClawofCat: trust meclawofcat on August 29th, 2008 05:38 am (UTC)
He spent their entire sexual relationship trying to do this.
With limited success, I might add. Although, if you take the sentence more figuratively, Spike's able to pull her up in times of depression that reach beyond their physical relationship, like in "Touched."
garnigalgarnigal on August 28th, 2008 08:08 pm (UTC)
Holy Aleister Crowley, that was dark, Batman.

Loved it.
ClawofCat: ow my angstclawofcat on August 29th, 2008 05:39 am (UTC)
LOL. Cute comment. And it certainly is dark. I'm glad that you enjoyed it!
(Deleted comment)
ClawofCat: spuffy squaredclawofcat on August 29th, 2008 06:10 pm (UTC)
Glad you enjoyed it, hun. Buffy's mental state in these ficlets is really in the shitter. It was great going so deep and seeing what I could find. When I compare this to my old S6 Spuffy fics (except for maybe Why Won't You Go), I think I capture her much more accurately here than I did a year and a half ago. Which, yay! Progress.

Sometimes I think I write Spike a little soft, but his acceptance of her behavior here seems right. He doesn't push her, doesn't ask, doesn't judge. He just lets her be and does what he can to insert some gentleness into their encounter. What I really wanted to get across is how tragic Buffy is. She does these destructive things, but I want to explore why. She has so much hurt to carry around with her. It's enough to just call her a "bitch" and be done with it. And while Spike is our comforting hero, he also is misguided and really doesn't get it. They're both so human, so fallible our heroes.

You know, i'm sorry for going on like this. I really am, like, the wordiest bastard when it comes to responding to reviews. This just accured to me, lol.
dawnofmedawnofme on August 29th, 2008 06:46 pm (UTC)
Loved it! Very intense and so very Spuffy.

I loved this part: He figures it’s like the Heimlich maneuver. If he pumps hard enough and in the right rhythm he can dislodge what’s been suffocating her, choking her into paralysis. He wants to help her breathe. He already lost her once.


What a great insight to what was going on between them.
ClawofCat: glancesclawofcat on August 30th, 2008 06:21 pm (UTC)
Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it. It seems that the line about the Heimlich maneuver resonated with a lot of people. That's always very gratifying to hear when something you write (even if it's one line) seems to universally touch readers.

BTW, I did end up posting at BSV, so we'll see what the response is.